I had time

thinking about this

and it did not end

of taking shape

I was in the limbo

of my doubts

_{I was and I was still there}

_{For three or four long days}

visual ideas

the word did not accompany

there was a silent content

in each line

the direction of my strokes was known

but I did not have any verb where to go

DQmUx26Hpt9MJXVi1BhBCn7eoQjbTWkjn8dYdAMXfMSErwE_1680x8400.png

I could not postpone it

and I forced myself to be consistent

and consequent

with myself

so I started

to de/en-code

_{without having an idea of what}

_{Everything was ready and acclimated}

but empty!

Why?

How much later would come

what was to come?

Perhaps

it would do?

DQmUx26Hpt9MJXVi1BhBCn7eoQjbTWkjn8dYdAMXfMSErwE_1680x8400.png

While swinging

between waiting and impatience

trying to pull a rope that I knew was thin

without breaking it

to stretch the trust

not yet having it

_{it arrived}

_{It was time}

I knew the identity of silence

I knew

what was it

what I did not want to see

nor listen

nor face

DQmUx26Hpt9MJXVi1BhBCn7eoQjbTWkjn8dYdAMXfMSErwE_1680x8400.png

Although I turned my back

I covered my ears with noise

and I closed my eyes with sleepy

there was no way to avoid it

–not she could

get away

_{of the now–}

_{The earth, again}

was struggling to gobble

However, I think, the wind will win

and, while, the sea

receives rivers of memories

more than we can throw out

the sea takes care of himself

DQmUx26Hpt9MJXVi1BhBCn7eoQjbTWkjn8dYdAMXfMSErwE_1680x8400.png

Help we need, we are inundated!

–I am,

here on a paper boat, watching the movie:

two girls playing all day

fighting to get back to content

eating together

_{for never to be satiated}

_{getting older}

without growing

The children that were born from me

and you did not have, sister,

live our dollhouse today

and your compliments

flank my signature

DQmUx26Hpt9MJXVi1BhBCn7eoQjbTWkjn8dYdAMXfMSErwE_1680x8400.png

you filled my patience enough

overflowing with disagreements

that we arranged perfectly

leave behind

So much you told me

until you managed to give me an ear shape

_{and I heard you}

_{Then it was my turn}

to talk

You were not expecting

but in me,

had also formed wise sentences

You stayed with them

you took them–

DQmUx26Hpt9MJXVi1BhBCn7eoQjbTWkjn8dYdAMXfMSErwE_1680x8400.png

Your violet flames

your violent pains

your slower afternoons

of what you could support

and your end

like everyone's

_{despite being exceptional}

_{The chest with the ashes of our times better}

and worse

or the visions

less cryptic

did not give us a warning

nor safe

of this white mourning

DQmUx26Hpt9MJXVi1BhBCn7eoQjbTWkjn8dYdAMXfMSErwE_1680x8400.png

_{This the colophon, because every end is the beginning}

and, chubby girl,
the rope breaks...

Rest in peace, Anna Karyna,
sister
April 4 1971 - July 8 2018

DQmUx26Hpt9MJXVi1BhBCn7eoQjbTWkjn8dYdAMXfMSErwE_1680x8400.png

...by the thinnest

I had time

thinking about this

and it did not end

of taking shape

I was in the limbo

of my doubts

visual ideas

the word did not accompany

there was a silent content

in each line

the direction of my strokes was known

but I did not have any verb where to go

I could not postpone it

and I forced myself to be consistent

and consequent

with myself

so I started

to de/en-code

but empty!

Why?

How much later would come

what was to come?

Perhaps

it would do?

While swinging

between waiting and impatience

trying to pull a rope that I knew was thin

without breaking it

to stretch the trust

not yet having it

I knew the identity of silence

I knew

what was it

what I did not want to see

nor listen

nor face

Although I turned my back

I covered my ears with noise

and I closed my eyes with sleepy

there was no way to avoid it

–not she could

get away

was struggling to gobble

However, I think, the wind will win

and, while, the sea

receives rivers of memories

more than we can throw out

the sea takes care of himself

Help we need, we are inundated!

–I am,

here on a paper boat, watching the movie:

two girls playing all day

fighting to get back to content

eating together

without growing

The children that were born from me

and you did not have, sister,

live our dollhouse today

and your compliments

flank my signature

you filled my patience enough

overflowing with disagreements

that we arranged perfectly

leave behind

So much you told me

until you managed to give me an ear shape

to talk

You were not expecting

but in me,

had also formed wise sentences

You stayed with them

you took them–

Your violet flames

your violent pains

your slower afternoons

of what you could support

and your end

like everyone's

and worse