Had one of the craziest dreams ever... And while I plan on sharing my whole collection since I started keep track in my dream journal at some point.. This one was just so crazy for me that I felt like sharing it now ahead of the others.
Photo credit = Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash
Day 16
01/25/2019 clear outside and moon is in a Waning Gibbous Phase
Before sleep I asked how do I be the best version of myself.
In my dream I had a dog friend who may have been my childhood dog friend named Tara and I chased/followed her/him all over.
I continued dreaming on my own exploring massive mysterious structures.
Then somehow met up with Johnathan Sprague who I had a falling out with a while back and am no longer friends with.
I joked about him and his egotistical personality and he handled it well, after that we agreed to work together to try to solve a Free Mason mystery.
I think my good friend James was also there too as a male figure around my age that I trusted was with me.
Then my dream showed a scene of some young cheerleader girl who was a daughter of Free Masons and I woke up.
In my next dream I was out in the dry creek bed in front of my house with my brother Robin I think..
(And for a lil context.. For anyone who doesn't know and I don't talk about it very much cause I'm ashamed of it.. I have a pretty severe case of OCD where I don't like touching door handles or shaking hands with people or things like that, I'm especially grossed out by other peoples hairs and end up having to wash by hands a bunch cause some part of me feels like that helps make me more "clean" or whatever. I'm fucked up in the head in regards to that and it's not easy to tell anyone about it. Anyways moving on..)
I went over to an area where I had some of my items stored and dealt with a long white hair which I thought was my moms hair at first but then realized it was not even a hair, it still triggered my OCD though.
And then shortly afterwards she was laying down and put her feet on my dream journal which also triggered my OCD and bothered me.
After that I argued with my brother Robin a lil and then I was at a party with all of them and more people I didn't recognize.
I was in my old room with my other brother Jon and we were talking about all kinds of stuff and having a good back and forth about life. And.. My OCD kept being triggered in various ways in here as well as for some reason I thought it was still my room and I had trouble becoming comfortable with my brother and others sort of being in my personal space.
After that.. I went to another room and my mother brought one of the women with her that I fell the hardest for romantically in the past and who also hurt me the most in the way she treated me into the room I was in and tried to get me to talk to her.
It was awkward and weird. We were all three watching tv or a movie. Erin smiled at me a lil but I think she could tell I was pissed/unhappy.
Nothing was said that I could remember, it was very quiet. This was much better than the last time I dreamed about her though around a year ago where I just yelled at her and then stormed off into the hot desert sun in the wilderness, at least I didn't yell at her this time..
Eventually I said I was waking up and leaving cause I wanted to get out of there and woke up/left then appeared right back in the same dream and thought I was awake for some reason.. It was sort of like that inception movie even though I never saw that movie, but I still sorta know what it's about.. Dreams within dreams and such.
So I jumped off the front deck which is like 15ft high at night and ran down the street at night and realized how alone I was.. At first it was a terrible feeling but after I really woke up later and thought about it it felt like a beautiful feeling to me.. To be alone in the dark. It was nice.
When I was running down the street it almost felt like I was on all fours like a canine and my vision was getting lighter and darker sort of like a pulsing light bulb and when I got to the bridge that's up the street I woke up.
When I woke up.. I was just.. sort of in awe at how crazy the dream was and had to lay there trying to figure it out..
I then kept repeating.. "Higherself, Godself, dreamself, please send me back to that dream I feel there's more I need to learn there".
I went back to the dreamworld and it felt sort of like the same place and people and it was so lucid..
I didn't really recognize anyone though this time, but they recognized me..
They asked me if I knew where I was I and I either said no or Sedona Arizona and they said no that I was actually in New Orleans or something like that I forget exactly where!
They then asked if I knew who I was and said my name Paul Irvine and they seemed to acknowledge that was me and even showed me a picture of me and it looked exactly like me but it wasn't "me" and after that I tried to leave.
Some children followed me out into the city and I couldn't wake up, so I decided to head back to the house cause I figured I was suppose to find and talk to Erin.
On the way back I saw a small snake in the path and warned the kids to be careful.
Right after that a bigger snake that was hidden in a dark hole launched out and bit me.
I kept going to the house and then woke up when I got there.
This time I was too awake to try to go back to sleep and accepted that I would not be able to reconnect with that dream this time or maybe ever again.
The question I asked before I went to sleep was.. "How can I be the best version of my self?"
After thinking about it all.. I really think one of the major messages was to somehow solve my OCD, though I still have no idea how I can do that.. It's embedded so strong into my subconscious.
One of the other major messages was, it seemed like my dream was trying to get me to talk to Erin and sort of.. Make "peace".. However I dunno how I can do that either cause I don't want to talk to her.
She's been liking some of my posts after I liked one of hers that I saw in my feed which was a meaningful post so I supported it like I did the one where I saw in my feed that she quit smoking a while back and..
I have thought about trying to message her but she ignored me last time and ignored me so many times before that and treated me so disrespectfully and without concern for my well being that I just don't know how I could message her.
Last time I checked her page which was a long time ago she was engaged to some dude and for all I know she's probably married now and.. It just hurts too much to try to contact her.
I am at much more peace with that whole situation though and have forgiven her to a large extent, yet.. There's still something really strong there that still bothers me and is showing up in my subconscious and is also preventing me from wanting to try to talk to her.
Another message was the thing with Johnathan Sprague who is someone else that I had strife with in the past and I don't want to reach out or connect with him either for numerous reasons.
The other messages seem to be.. Me out exploring nature and trying to solve secret society mysteries and "snakes"... Ever since I was young snakes would strongly show up in my dreams and my mother used to say they represent life, so that could mean I need to overcome more of my fears about life.
When the snake bit me that seemed kind of meaningful.. Maybe that was life biting me.. I'm not sure.
This was by far the most crazy and intense and at times lucid feeling dream that I can remember in my adult life. Maybe I had inception sort of dreams when younger though in my adult life I can't remember any quite like that where I woke up and was still in the dream thinking I was awake..
Something different I did before bed this time was I unplugged the wireless WiFi connected to my computer and I put my phone in airplane mode and powered it down and put it in the corner of my room.
I also usually listen to music to help me sleep though recently saw a new article with a study or studies showing that silence is really important for us to heal and regenerate our brains and to give them a break/rest so I tried silence and I think it helped me dream better.
So I think it's possible the lack of music and EMF waves may have helped me dream even more powerfully and I'm looking forward to trying again tonight!
Anyways.. I think that's enough for now. Peace.