I came to a horrifying realization tonight: There is another business magnate affiliated with hotels and reality television who would make a better President than Donald Trump:
Paris Hilton.
Hear me out. I know she's best known for a sex tape and roles as an airhead blonde in film and television, but she is apparently a successful businesswoman behind the scenes. Her drug convictions could be spun into a pro-decriminalization position. She also wouldn't be the first to make a move from Hollywood to politics if she were to run for office. She has traveled the world. And she is 35, the minimum age to hold the office.
None of this is to say I want her to actually hold the office. I don't want anyone to claim that kind of authority over anyone. But setting that aside, I have no idea what her political positions are, how well-versed she is in economic theory, what her prejudices are, or whether she has the ability to lead an organization directly. But all of these questions still leave the potential for her to trump Trump.
Happy nightmares, America...