Fear eats up my insides
And I fill them back up with guilt
Heavy as lead in the pits of my bowels
Effects just as toxic and mentally degrading
Confessions help the soul
But consequences remain
Real and imagined they return to haunt
Penance without effect against the storming mob.
I deserve it all, I know!
Still I dread it all the same
I have struggle and prayed
And fought against the darkness
Yet I fall every time in a cycle of debasement
Helpless and hopeless against the strength of its pull.
I think up excuses but I know they’re nought but straws
I did it all, me!
I broke my vows and ruined her life
That knowledge’s weight I can’t escape.
Can there be a coming back from this?
I am a hopeless, broken thing
Don’t speak to me of repentance
Of infinite love and forgiveness
The sun is dead, the moon is dark
My soul is black and so am I.
'A Soul's Anguish' is one of the poems in my Darkness and Light anthology, to be published in full on Dec 28th. In it, a person laments the wrongs he has done and his inability to stop doing them.
Find more of my original works as Peter M. Ogwara on Amazon!
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