There are scores of things that I can think of to teach Faateh right now. He is my 4 year old son- the light of my life and the sunny to my gloomy as I often call him. He does not understand it completely right now but he is beginning to grasp it better since I sang the ‘You are my sunshine’ song to him. So now when I call him the light of my life, he smiles and gives me a kiss but that doesn’t happen always, you know kids and their moods. Lol.
Coming back to the @ecotrain question of the week, there are tons of things I want to teach Faateh to create a happy, meaningful life for himself. Like I want him to focus on self-acceptance so he figures out his true, genuine self and knows himself and his needs better to build a worthwhile life for himself. Self-acceptance helps you focus better on what you want and bring positive improvements in yourself without being overly critical of yourself. Naturally, this leads to a happy life.
I also want to teach him the importance of nurturing self-love and a growth-oriented mindset because both play a massive role in helping you create happiness for yourself. Self-love helps you embrace your individuality and be your best friend instead of being your biggest critic and having a growth oriented mindset ensures you don’t give in to negativity and surrender to your fears each time you embark on a journey that means a lot to you.
So all these things are really important to be happy and I would love to teach them to my baby, but the one thing I am focusing a lot on right now is to fight for your rights for yourself instead of patiently waiting for others to hand them over to you.
Happiness is quite transitory if you associate with acquiring things. If you keep finding happiness in getting more stuff and achieving one goal after another, you will find yourself feeling unhappy once a goal is achieved. However, that doesn’t mean one shouldn’t fight for their own rights. To feel and happy fulfilled, you need some basics in life and need to have the ability to strongly fight for what’s yours. If you keep settling for what’s thrown your way, don’t pursue what you truly want and keep agreeing to the demands of others, your life will soon become the life of others. Instead of being the real boss of your life, you will willingly give its steering wheel to someone else and allow them to steer it in whichever direction they want. So you see, if you don’t fight for what you want and what you think you deserve, you will let it slip away from your hands and when you see that you are unfit for getting what you want, you form a low opinion of yourself. This lowers your self-esteem which then sabotages your self-confidence.
One thing leads to another and before you know it, you start living a miserable life. a miserable life is not even the last thing I want for my son. I just don’t want that for him at all. I don’t wish for him to never go through any struggles or obstacles because they are important in making you stronger and more confident so I do want him to get his share of troubles but I also want him to fight them positively. If he does that, he will never be miserable. What I am trying to say is that I just don’t want only the good and shiny things for my son. I want him to experience some rocky patches too but no, I don’t wish for him to live miserably.
Since I don’t ever want him to hate himself or feel he is not good enough to get what he wants, I want to teach him how to fight for his rights, how not to settle for something less than you want and how to keep pursuing the things he genuinely aspires to have. I realized I want to work on this about two months back when I noticed that he wasn’t good at defending himself amongst other kids and was turning out to be someone who would accept whatever was given to him by strangers but feel upset from within in. He is a different person in front of the family. With loved ones, he complains and demands for what he wants but he is a different kid amongst stranger kids of his age. He would even allow other kids to hit him and take away his stuff while he sat patiently waiting for them to treat him nicely. When I saw that, I decided I was done teaching my son be too good.
Yes, I still teach him to be compassionate and this is something I strongly believe in, but I am now focusing more on helping him become self-confident so he starts to fight for his rights and stand for what he believes in. yes, I need to be careful while giving him that lesson so he doesn’t turn out to be a spoilt brat or a mean kid who snatches away the rights of others but from what I have seen so far, he is just too compassionate to do that. When I tell him to punch back a mean kid if he punches Faateh, he simply says, ‘Mama, kids beat others but Faateh doesn’t’ as if saying that he is too mature to do that. Lol. That’s my boy- too sensible for his age so I am quite sure he will be compassionate and not mean when he grows up. But I also want him to be strong and self-dependent and for that, I will definitely be teaching him to fight and speak for his rights.
Do share your views in the comments below; your input is always appreciated. Thank you for taking out the time to read this post. Love and light,
Sharoon.
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