The door creeked open and out stepped Jeff onto the porch in a cleanly knit black jacket, sky blue shirt, red tie, red socks and brown brun shoe. He dropped his briefcase by the walkway to straighten his jacket looking to both sides and hoping that someone would notice him. It was a new environment for him as he had just moved in a few nights ago.
But it usually seemed none of his new neighbors really cared or took notice of his arrival and he was getting really pissed with that. Does it mean that he's too small to be easily noticed or what? He would wonder. Yes, he was a small man, sturdy in nature with a good noticeable paunch that was complimented by an equally noticeable backside that seemed to be there to create balance so he doesn't tilt over face down.
He knew he did not have an easily likeable face, due to the numerous wrinkles and a big flat nose that seemed to be there as a mask to protect the other parts of the face. But how many men in their mid forties, without a companion have a nice and easily likeable face? As far as he was concerned, there were very few and those few was because they were rich enough to go for plastic surgeries.
He grew up being taught that physical features are secondary considerations in the likeness business and character is the most important. So everyday as he leaves the house, he made sure to greet anyone he sees around and that was the same this morning. Only difference was that none of his neighbors were outside today, so he just waved and smiled sheepishly at everyone and everything he saw, both animate and inanimate things. But the only responses he got were suspicious looks.
He gave his car keys a jiggle as he noticed a petite blonde jogging by. Then he waved and mimicked a "hi", and the lady just waved back and continued her run. That was enough for Jeff, at least it was a proof that he's not unnoticeable. So he slip into the small golf car which seemed too small compared to the house he came out from and the clothes he was wearing. But he knew he wouldn't touch the other cars in the garage so he doesn't crash them. It was going to be a good day filled with enjoyment.
He stepped into the exotic restaurant with tables covered in linen and food served with gold plates. He felt rich and wealthy, caressed the wine glass with utmost care and attention, spoke to the waiters in rude tones just to sound authoritative, and smiled at other guests just to create a rapport. He felt fulfilled and proud as his meal arrived.
A full plate of eba and egusi soup, filled with chewables of every kind was dropped on his table with a bottle of cold beer to wash it down. This elicited curious looks from many in the hall, but Jeff did not mind. He liked eating heavy, whether it's breakfast, lunch or dinner and he did not care what these skinny people thought about it.
But just as he was about to swallow the first ball he threw in his mouth, his phone rang. It was his boss calling. "shit" he exclaimed as he picked up the phone.
"hello sir" he started and waited for a few minutes after which he quickly washed his hand and dashed out of the restaurant, muttering inaudibly to himself. He was confused whether to undress in the car or to just go home like that. He started the car and rushed off to the house.
As he stepped out of the car, he saw his boss outside, so he just hurried to open the door and let him in.
"what are you doing in my clothes" his boss started as he stepped into the house, looking around in an inspective manner.
"errrm, sir....." Jeff stuttered
"And you told my neighbors you own my house?" The boss started, sounding really angry. "I've not even mentioned the numerous debits that my account manager just reported from the credit card I left in your possession" he concluded.
Jeff started pleading with his boss not to sack him. But his boss only told him to get his things from the car as his matter will be treated later. Jeff did everything his boss said and even cooked for him just to try to please and satiate his anger.
The following morning, as Jeff stepped out of the house in his rough chinos trouser, t-shirt and sneakers, he went straight to the car to check it before conveying his boss to the office. There were no waves and incessant greetings. He had been grounded by his boss and wasn't to leave his sight for 3 months, unless when he's sent on special errands, which he'll be accompanied by another of his colleagues.
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